I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
