i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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