from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
