I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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