dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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