just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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