ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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