god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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