I'm really into asian looking animals
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
