I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When are your genitals available?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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