The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
