i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
