Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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