OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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