yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
