Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
