Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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