we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
