This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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