I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
