I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
