I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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