....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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