Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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