My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
