The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
