Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
