# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize