Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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