Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
