who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
