How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
