Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
