but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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