I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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