it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
