I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
