I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
