apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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