He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize