Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
and eventually we just all took our pants off
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
