Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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