I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
