No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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