Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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