More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
