You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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