I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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