Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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