Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
