1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
