Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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