alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
