im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
