Buhtt sex?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Holy shit dude........stairs
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