i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
