Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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