Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
