you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
