Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize