those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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