you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
