Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
