so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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