yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize