I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
