I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
